My editor asked me to submit a list of what I consider to be the five greatest Western films of all time. I hate these kinds of things, especially when they are used to assign some kind of value to somebody’s art. That and picking five favorites adds up to a lot of agonizing because you have to exclude so many great films.
I guess lists do serve some sort of social function though. They are a way for people to get to know each other over common reference points. For instance, one person might really respond to The Wild Bunch but not even be able to sit through Destry Rides Again. What kind of information does this pass to various sensors? A whole lot I’m telling you.
A good Western can leave you craving the smell of sage and wood smoke. Some can break your heart, or reaffirm your faith in all kinds of things. I swear the first time I watched The Outlaw Josey Wales, my sperm count doubled.
So without any further delay, here are my five all time greatest Westerns as of right this minute.
5. Sliverado I make no apologies for ranking this Reagan era film in my top 5. Together and separately, Lawrence Kazdan and Kevin Costner have made some truly epic Westerns. Out of all of them, Silverado is my favorite.
Kazdan and a stellar cast cover all the bases. Plucky homesteaders vs a rich cattle baron and Brian Dennehy as his bought and paid for Sheriff. The homesteaders have a hole card though in four Jedi gunslingers played by Scott Glenn, Kevin Kline, Kevin Costner and Danny Glover.
Extra bonus points for Linda Hunt stealing every scene as Stella “The Midnight Star” and John (not from around these parts) Cleese.
4. Unforgiven Clint Eastwood spent 25 years building two of cinema’s towering icons, both gunfighters. In 1992, he began tearing them down with Unforgiven. Beautiful and gut wrenching, I haven’t seen it in years, but I’ll never forget the shock of Eastwood unable to mount his horse, Morgan Freeman’s corpse in the rain and Gene Hackman pleading for his life. “I don’t deserve this… to die like this…I was building a house!”
You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans, then go and piss off a loser with a gun.
3. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance I don’t know why I like this film so much. There’s not a whole lot of action, it takes place mostly in town… It’s pretty much missing two of the three essentials of a great Western namely action and scenery so it’s up to the characters to carry the day and they do so spectacularly.
Edmund O’Brien’s drunken newspaperman, Woody Strode as Pompey. Strother Martin and Lee Van Cleef… for chissakes, Lee Marvin, Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne all in the same movie!
John Wayne is so good as Tom Doniphon, the beautiful loser. Every step of the way he sucks it up and does the right thing. God it’s all so bittersweet, you find yourself wanting to write an alternate ending. Jimmy Stewart and Vera Miles coming to visit Tom out at his old place, and there he is with some pretty Mexican lady with big tits and lots of kids…
2. Red River Cattle ranchers get a bad rap in Westerns but you watch this and you don’t blame them for looking down their noses on sodbusters and sheep farmers. It’s all about survival. Hanging onto the land and water so you can hang on to the herd so you can hang on to your life.
John Wayne and Montgomerey Clift star as Tom and Matt. For all intents and purposes father and son, their divergent devotion to duty turns them into mortal enemies. Walter Brennan, John Ireland, Noah Berry and Hank Worden round out Howard Hawkes’ finest film.
1. Shane The perfect Western. You have a family trying to eke out a living on a homestead on the edge of the prairie. Another evil cattle rancher can’t abide the encroaching settlers. A short, blonde stranger rides in. Something’s gotta give.
Van Heflin has a big heart but no clue to what’s going on with his wife and for a awhile you don’t know who’s a bigger threat to the family, the rancher or Shane. Then Jack Palance enters the mix. What a villain!
Director George Stevens gets everything right with this one. The old town at twilight, the shaggy dog, all the details are perfect. People get punched and stomped and actually bleed! People get shot with big-bore handguns and die. Not Sam Peckinpah dead, just dead.
I’ve seen this movie dozens of times and each time, I feel just like Joey looking under that saloon door.
So there you have em. I’ve showed you mine, show me yours. But first take this simple quiz to find out which Western movie bad ass you are.
